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The Skein of Misery

by sinai9

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1.
i watched every empty house trudging through the snow concrete saps life from fabric and i have no money for cigarettes alive in a gunpoint fashion alive in constriction alive in a fence nobody could love me nobody all the water is frozen and i would rather go unrecognized the coldest depths house the coldest animals and all animals can do is survive
2.
when i met you i was decomposing chance encounters are ashen things all i had was seven dollars all i had was seven dollars and the sidewalk called me to you she cried for hours the day before halloween she cried for hours the night before halloween my jaw was wired shut and i could not move my limbs my shirt designates my status and that status is none you were so kind i could see it in your eyes i sat there for hours suicide hinged on that night chance encounters are ashen things
3.
she's so delicate in her lovely dress standing in the plaza i watched her die lovely angel cries out in pain as her wings are torn from her back angel wings of serenity bloodied and mangled so still on the ground defiled panic sets in screams of shock turn to desperation and denial time is rewound to play out every permutation of angel wings hitting the pavement have you ever seen an angel's wings be torn out over and over again have you ever heard her shrieks of pain and sadness over and over again have you ever seen an angel's wings have you ever seen an angel's wings have you ever heard an angel's screams have you ever smelled an angel's blood have you ever felt an angel's fear have you ever seen an angel's wings
4.
my envy makes me feel sick organs lurching in a car crash cacophony of evil dreams purge it purge it purge it purge it purge it purge it purge it purge it i've seen 1000 atrocities on the bus and 1000 more at the liquor store i lay alone splattered across the tile of mcdonalds gethsemane every step every key every ounce of vomit heart palpitation in a distant blue and i left patience anorexic nothing for no one no one for nothing vitally punctured by the wave lacerated by the particle eviscerated by the dice torn limb from limb by the rainbow hallowed eve of the victim stranded in the styrofoam my heart is overgrown with chains of ivy and shackles of concrete i long to leap from the balcony
5.
Going Up 08:11
ground floor perfumery stationery and leather goods wigs and haberdashery kitchenware and foods going up going up first floor telephones gents ready made suits shirts socks ties hats underwear and shoes going up going up second floor carpets travel goods and beddings materials and soft furnishing restaurant and teas up going up it just is

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released August 16, 2020

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